Baby steps to take Boss steps

Required knowledge/skills: Office Space, Fight Club, Motivation, Self Esteem

Office Space and Fight Club have a few things in common. One obvious relation deals with people who are stuck in a dead end job who are looking for change. Although Jennifer Aniston or Brad Pitt may not bless us with their ridiculously good looking presence, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. More times than not, it's our boss at work who makes the minutes seem like hours, and the hours seem like days. Although bringing an Ak-47 to work sounds good to some of you freaks out there, I will offer you a solution. Number one, getting your hands on any semi-automatic assault rifle is sketchy, and number two, it's a lot better to be the person that's nice to the creepy weirdo at work.


For me motivation has always been replaced with procrastination. Just like 99% of the worlds population, we always find something better to do which delays our responsibilities as a human being. Here are a list of steps to get motivated to make changes in your work life AND personal life.

1. Know that you are better than your competition, and that being recognized for your accomplishments breeds great satisfaction.

2. Think about how important the goal is to you, and will you ever get there if you keep procrastinating?     Ex. My good friend smokes more cigarettes than an AA graduate, she told me that she promises to stop    smoking in August. When August comes around, do you think she will stop? Neither do I. TAKE ACTION NOW!

3. Remind yourself; you are the boss of your own life. You control your words, actions, and thoughts (most of the times). You cannot trust or depend on other people to make your sorry life fun and glamorous. Watching Ellen or Dr. Phil may be nice but why get fat on the couch when you can be productive and better yourself.

CHALLENGE (pick one):
Get off Facebook, turn off the TV, and don't respond to pointless text messages for one day.
Use one day this week to meet a new person and get their phone number.
Get a gym membership and/or run two-four miles this week. 



A nameless razor fusses.

Mr. Burgandy, you have a massive erection

Ron Burgandy can be considered the jack of all trades. He is a leading news anchor, a master of the jazz flute, and lifts weights in his own office. Mr. Burgandy is a leader for more than the reasons just listed. He is respected by his fellow anchors, the city he represents, and Baxter (his dog, not the guy in our class). The confidence and clarity of his voice combined with the obnoxious mustache make for a very powerful leader. Although he makes mistakes, he proves that being a leader is always open to suggestions and improvements. And like most leaders, Mr. Burgandy has haters. Maybe my friend Serene can take a thing or two from Ron. (below)

12 step essay esseee

I wrote my toulmin essay on how i think 12 step programs are bullshit. i wrote how its a scam and how religion is implemented without consent. feeling really strong about my side of the argument, i got in touch with an old friend from highschool. for the sake of his native american blood, well call him wolfcry. wolfcry and i were best friends in highschool, same taste in music, girls, and sports. he was a late bloomer in all aspects. he got stoned for the first time our junior year and helped me eat 2 bags of kettlecorn and whatever else we found in the kitchen. i didnt know this would start a long road of "shenanigans". after our second year of college we went our own ways, he went to school at kansas university and i pursued my career in fire. it wasnt til the night before our essays were due that he hit me up on facebook. the 3 years we didnt talk he took the "high" road. no he didnt excel in academics, sports, or girls. he excelled in cocaine, mdma, heroin, and pot. he went through rehabs, interventions, and counseling..12 step programs included. facebook is for creeping, status updates, yada yada..but him and i had the most interesting and intellectual conversation ever. questioning the meanings and purpose of life, it was evident he spent a lot of time watching the discovery channel high off his balls. he said if it wasnt for the 12 step program, he wouldnt be 11 months clean. he found his "higher power" to help him succeed his dark past of narcotics. wolfcry reminded me of the first time he smoked with me in highschool and i instantly felt at fault. we took different roads after highschool so he ensured me he was responsible for his own decisions. unfortunately we had this convo after i wrote the last page of my essay but it truely opened my eyes to the positive affects 12 step programs have on people. the biggest impact on people who need help are people who want to help. adios

banksy project

See you later Spring Break..not much of a break but definitely change of pace. Everyones projects were cool and I liked all of them. eff rainy days see you all tomorrow

i am banksy

how do you spell your name?? let me pee it on a wall and ill call it art. i had respect for all the artists in this documentary except for 'MBW'..first of all the chops have gotta go. and secondly he is not a genius as proclaimed in the movie. hes a goddamn shadow puppet who filmed a bunch of creative artists, filmed it, was constantly on his knees for banksy, and decided he wanted to take the spotlight. Banksy had legitimate genius creations. He utilized common architecture and twisted it in to his own art. MBW had no sense of direction and no focus. When he realized Banksy's fame made him quite a bit of money, he threw some TVs together, copy and pasted original art pieces, and added his own small twist. If it wasnt for the amount of promoting to get people to his show, it wouldnt be what it is now. He's the Justin Bieber of art, his music sucks but people like it because the person next to you say they like it and so forth. MAINSTREAM BANKSY WANNABE ...thats what MBW stands for haha. im funny sometimes. welp c ya later

Messin with Sasquatch

Ya we've all seen the commercials, the guys put whipped cream on Sasquatch's hand while he's sleeping, tickle his face..and bam! they messed with Sasquatch. Many people have thought of this beast as a fictional character or an urban legend. There's been Sasquatch chasers (who will most likely be virgins for the remainder of their hopeless lives) that have tried to set traps in the middle of Alaskan forests, scary stories to haunt little kids, and of course those retarded commercials. Not gonna lie, after watching virgin TV and seeing those pathetic guys try to get a glimpse of Sasquatch, it compelled me to get off facebook for a little bit and do my own bigfoot research. After searching for hard evidence on the existence of bigfoot, I hit the jackpot. I found a source online that provided pictures of this "mythical" creature of a large human-like skeleton and DNA 99.9% the same as a human being. Many anthropologists and human development researchers verified this and have been recently published articles in journals throughout the UK and other countries. Footprints and shadow sightings are not feasible evidence, but when DNA research proves a theory there is no room for question [source:http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/nature/bigfoot-new-evidence-878263.html].

Ok now that I bullshitted you for 5 minutes on bigfoot, there is no truth to this hairy savage. The point is you can almost get anything believable by providing 3 things, a) the counter argument b) your argument (with extensive vocabulary) and c) a source providing evidence...not gonna lie I googled "sasquatch evidence" and manipulated it into my paragraph. Being a good persuasive writer, like Professor Hasson said, can help you in so many aspects through out life. Not necessarily bullshitting, but slightly twisting your proposal/idea/topic can help you excel in your essay, debate, conversation whateverrr...big gulps huh? welp c ya later  (name that movie)

"You are an Independent Woman"

Ok lets get real, if South Park makes fun of you, you obviously f&cked up. Sex sells! Although not all the women were attractive in the 'real' shake weight video, good looking women made up for most of the advertisement. Yes, morals and values are to be considered when it comes to a really hot lady riding a mechanical bull for a Carls Jr commercial or Kim Kardashian and her booty rocking Sketchers during the Super Bowl. If lack of morals and values are to blame then turn off the damn TV. Our economy revolves around consumerism, and if people stop buying products because the advertisements seem tasteless, then pack your bags and find a nice double wide in Bakersfield. No you won't get sexy from eating a Western Bacon Cheeseburger or look like Kimmy in a new pair of Shape Ups, but it is the idea of recognizing products at the store and tying it to the commercial you saw last night. I do not think advertising should be censored, maybe toned down a little (Miley is turning young girls into hookers!), but we live in corporate America and every business wants to make $$$$. Have you heard of a business that cares for the well being of customers rather than money? Me too, it's called a charity. Welp this essay should be fun. Adios